Do you know how terrifying it was?
Watching the comment I made ripple and change into a snide aside
I watched your fist grip, frown deepen,eyes crinkle..without a smile in sight
And despite my attempts at silencing
Becoming small and disappearing
It was too late
The anger had found its ground and now I have no choice but to stand here
Berated
Betrayed
My open heart bled and you stomped on it with the dread of being a cause
Causal relationships became blame ridden court rooms
No you ,not me
And the switch, inevitably.
When it all ended
My physical scares faded into spiritual scars
PTSD as I flinched when someone walked by me
You didn’t break me
It was the insistence to stay,
when I discarded my own understanding,
and uploaded yours
Of COURSE you didn’t mean to hurt me
Or at least that’s what you told me…
Every time.
-Ama🌹