1.5-A letter to an ex (TW)

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Do you know how terrifying it was?

Watching the comment I made ripple and change into a snide aside

I watched your fist grip, frown deepen,eyes crinkle..without a smile in sight

And despite my attempts at silencing

Becoming small and disappearing

It was too late

The anger had found its ground and now I have no choice but to stand here

Berated

Betrayed

My open heart bled and you stomped on it with the dread of being a cause

Causal relationships became blame ridden court rooms

No you ,not me

And the switch, inevitably.

When it all ended

My physical scares faded into spiritual scars

PTSD as I flinched when someone walked by me

You didn’t break me

It was the insistence to stay,

when I discarded my own understanding,

and uploaded yours

Of COURSE you didn’t mean to hurt me

Or at least that’s what you told me…

Every time.

-Ama🌹

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